Of Vultures and Prognostication

This weekend, Livvy and I went to the woods. We don't do this often, which i think is unfortunate, but we've not felt very connected to each other lately, and one of my favorite ways to reconnect in a quiet, no pressure manner is to go for a walk in the woods. So we packed up the dog, hopped into the car, and drove to the woods.

The woods were surprisingly active for this time of the year, especially considering it was cloudy and there was, off and on, a stiff breeze. As we walked, the noise of traffic gradually faded away and we were ensconced in only the noises of the forest. It's always incredibly comforting to me to be walking in the woods -- as a child, I had many, many happy, contented hours playing by myself in our woods, surrounded only by birdsong and filtered half light. I miss that, and I never realized just how comforting it is to be in the woods for me.

I was glad that we could walk and talk and spend some time just reconnecting with each other in a calm, no pressure way. We walked for about an hour, and the further we went into the woods, the more relaxed and open i felt. I felt like we were able to talk about things so easily, with flow and give and take that we don't always have at home, or in the car, or on the phone, etc. It made me realize how open we both have become to having experiences together and actually being able to process them, and relate to each other through them. That's a huge realization for me, because I'm not the kind of person who is open about emotions and feelings and processing and all that other stuff that goes along with it. I don't do vulnerable well, but I feel like i've been able to make some changes in the fundamental way in which i relate, not just to Livvy, but to people in general, and that feels very freeing. And very very good.

On the way out of the woods, we stopped and turned down a path that was freshly cleared... On the ground was a wrinkled vulture feather, which i picked up, and lamented it's tattered state. Livvy looked down, pointed at my foot, and in a tangle of briars, next to my foot, sat a perfect pinion. Black, shiny, freshly molted. I couldn't help but smile -- vultures are one of my major totem animals, and a very very powerful symbol for me. I feel not only that they are protective and wise, but they have an intrinsic function to the world. They are perfectly evolved to do what they do, and they do it better than any other warm blooded thing. As we walked back along the main trail, three circled, two low, one quite high above us. Their silent watchfulness never ceases to amaze me -- even owls are louder than vultures, if you're listening....