Today has Songs

because the last week has been less than stellar for all the people i love and for myself. Today has three songs.

Sail Away

Sail away with me honey
I put my heart in your hands
Sail away with me honey now, now, now
Sail away with me
What will be will be
I wanna hold you now

Crazy skies all wild above me now
Winter howling at my face
And everything I held so dear
Disappeared without a trace
Oh all the times I've tasted love
Never knew quite what I had
Little darling if you hear me now
Never needed you so bad
Spinning round inside my head

Sail away with me honey
I put my heart in your hands
Sail away with me honey now, now, now
Sail away with me
What will be will be
I wanna hold you now

I've been talking drunken gibberish
Falling in and out of bars
Trying to find some explanation here
For the way some people are
How did it ever come so far

Sail away with me honey
I put my heart in your hands
Sail away with me honey now, now, now
Sail away with me
What will be will be
I wanna hold you now
Sail away with me honey
I put my heart in your hands
Sail away with me honey now, now, now
Sail away with me
What will be will be
I wanna hold you now

-- David Gray

Four Days

All I want is something good
It gets harder every time
She is leaving here tonight
Take a breath
Take your time
Spread your wings and rise

Make a mark upon the wall
Paint your face and pass the time
Close your eyes and she ascends
Hold your breath
Ease your mind
Forty thousand times

Time fade into the night
They descend and then they climb
Feathers falling through the night
Have you seen ohio rise
It has been four days and nights

All I want is something fine
It gets harder every time
She is sleeping far away
Take a breath
Take your time
Spread your wings and rise

Rise through the black ohio sky
They descend and then they climb
Feathers falling through the night
Have you seen ohio rise
It has been four days and nights

-- Adam Duritz

As Is

You can't hide
Behind social graces
So don't try
To be all touchy feely
Cuz you lie
In my face of all places
But I got no
Problem with that really

What bugs me
Is that you believe what you're saying
What bothers me
Is that you don't know how you feel
What scares me
Is that while you're telling me stories
You actually
Believe that they are real

I get no illusions about you
Guess what
I never did
When I said
When I said I'll take it
I meant
I meant as is

Just give up
And admit you're as asshole
You would be
In some good company and I think you'd find
That your friends would forgive you
Or maybe i
Am just speaking for me

When I look around
I think this, this is good enough
And I try to laugh
At whatever life brings
Cuz when I look down
I just miss all the good stuff
And when I look up
I just trip over things

I've got no illusions about you
Guess what
I never did
When I say
When I say illl take it
I mean
I mean as is

-- Ani DiFranco

Today Has Songs

Anna Begins

My friend assures me
It's all or nothing
I am not worried- I am not overly concerned
My friend implores me
For one time only,
Make an exception. I am not not worried

Wrap her up in a package of lies
Send her off to a coconut island
I am not worried -
I am not overly concerned with the status of my emotions
Oh, she says, were changing.
But were always changing
It does not bother me to say this isn't love
Because if you don't want to talk about it then it isn't love
And I guess I'm going to have to live that
But, I'm sure
There's something in a shade of gray or something inbetween
And I can always change my name if thats what you mean

My friend assures me its all or nothing`
But I am not really worried
I am not overly concerned
You try to tell yourself the things you try tellyour self to make
Yourself forget
To make yourself forget
I am not worried if its love she said,
then we're gonna have to think about the consequences
She can't stop shaking and I can't stop touching her and.....

This time when kindness falls like rain
It washes her away and Anna begins to change her mind
These seconds when I'm shaking leave me shuddering
For days she says.
And I'm not ready for this sort of thing

But I'm not gonna break
And I'm not going to worry about it anymore
I'm not gonna bend,
And I'm not gonna break and
I'm not gonna worry about it anymore

It seems like I should say as long as this is love...
But it's not all that easy so maybe I should just
Snap her up in a butterfly net-
Pin her down on a photograph album
I am not worried
I've done this sort of thing before
But then I start to think about the consequences
Because I don't get no sleep in a quiet room and...
The time when kindness falls like rain
It washes me away and Anna begins change my mind
And every time she sneezes I believe its love
And oh lord.... I'm not ready for this sort of thing

She's talking in her sleep- it's keeping me awake
And Anna begins to toss and turn
And every word is nonsense but I understand it and
Oh lord. I m not ready for this sort of thing

Her kindness bangs a gong
Its moving me along and Anna begins to fade away
It s chasing me away.
She disappears, and oh lord I'm not ready for this sort of thing

Send "Anna Begins" Ringtone to Cell Phone

-- Adam Duritz

Imitosis

Imitosis lyrics

His keeping busy, yeah he's bleeding stones,
With his machinations and his palindromes
It was anything but hear the voice
Anything but hear the voice
It was anything but hear the voice
That says that we’re all basically alone

Poor Professor Pynchon had only good intentions
When he put his Bunsen burners all away
And turned into a playground a petri dish of single cells
That would swing their fists at anything that looks like easy prey
On this nature show that rages every day it was bound,
A part his intuition
To say we were all basically alone

And despite what all his studies had shown
What was mistaken for closeness was just a case for mitosis
Why do some show no mercy
While others are painfully shy?
And tell me doctor can quantify
‘Cause he just wants to know the reason, the reason why

Why do they congregate in groups of four
Scatter like a billion spores
And let the wind just carry them away?
How can kids be so mean
Our famous doctor tried to gleam
As he went home at the end of the day
In this Nature show that rages every day
It was bound apart his intuition, Say

We were all basically all alone
Despite what all his studies had shown
What was mistaken for closeness was just a case for mitosis
She fatal doses, malcontent to osmosis
Why do some show no mercy
While others are painfully shy?
Well tell me doctor can you quantify
The reason why
-- Andrew Bird

Today Has Songs!

First Time

We're both looking for something
We've been afraid to find
It's easier to be broken
It's easier to hide

Looking at you,
holding my breath,
For once in my life,
I'm scared to death,
I'm taking a chance,
letting you inside.

Feeling alive all over again,
As deep as the sky, under my skin
Like being in love, she says
For the first time

Maybe I'm wrong,
But I'm feeling right
where I belong
With you tonight
Like being in love
To feel for the first time

The world that I see inside you
Waiting to come to life
Waking me up to dreaming
Reality in your eyes

Looking at you,
Holding my breath,
For once in my life
I'm scared to death,
I'm taking a chance,
Letting you inside.

I'm feeling alive all over again
As deep as the sky that's under my skin
Like being in love, she says, for the first time

Maybe I'm wrong,
I'm feeling right
Where I belong
with you tonight
Like being in love to feel for the first time

We're crashing
Into the unknown
We're lost in this
But it feels like home

I'm feeling alive all over again
As deep as the sky that's under my skin
Like being in love, she says, for the first time
Maybe I'm wrong,
I'm feeling right
Where I belong
with you tonight
Like being in love
to feel for the first time

--Lifehouse

I Envy The Wind

I envy the wind
That whispers in your ear
That howls through the winter
That freezes your fingers
That moves through your hair
And cracks your lips
And chills you to the bone
I envy the wind

I envy the rain
That falls on your face
That wets your eyelashes
And dampens your skin
And touches your tongue
And soaks through your shirt
And drips down your back
I envy the rain

I envy the sun
That brightens your summer
That warms your body
And holds you in her heat
And makes your days longer
And makes you hot
And makes you sweat
I envy the sun
I envy the wind, I envy the rain, I envy the sun, I envy the wind

-- Lucinda Williams

Grey Street

Oh look at how she listens
She says nothing of what she thinks
She just goes stumbling through her memories
Staring out on to Grey Street

She thinks, “Hey,
How did I come to this?
I dream myself a thousand times around the world,
But I can’t get out of this place”

There’s an emptiness inside her
And she’d do anything to fill it in
But all the colors mix together - to grey
And it breaks her heart

How she wishes it was different
She prays to God most every night
And though she swears it doesn’t listen
There’s still a hope in her it might

She says, “I pray
But they fall on deaf ears,
Am I supposed to take it on myself?
To get out of this place”

There’s loneliness inside her
And she’d do anything to fill it in
And though it’s red blood bleeding from her now
It feels like cold blue ice in her heart
When all the colors mix together - to grey
And it breaks her heart

There’s a stranger speaks outside her door
Says take what you can from your dreams
Make them as real as anything
It’d take the work out of the courage

But she says, “Please
There’s a crazy man that’s creeping outside my door,
I live on the corner of Grey Street and the end of the world”

There’s an emptiness inside her
And she’d do anything to fill it in
And though it’s red blood bleeding from her now
It’s more like cold blue ice in her heart
She feels like kicking out all the windows
And setting fire to this life
She could change everything about her using colors bold and bright
But all the colors mix together - to grey
And it breaks her heart
It breaks her heart
To grey

-- David J. Matthews

Of Vultures and Prognostication

This weekend, Livvy and I went to the woods. We don't do this often, which i think is unfortunate, but we've not felt very connected to each other lately, and one of my favorite ways to reconnect in a quiet, no pressure manner is to go for a walk in the woods. So we packed up the dog, hopped into the car, and drove to the woods.

The woods were surprisingly active for this time of the year, especially considering it was cloudy and there was, off and on, a stiff breeze. As we walked, the noise of traffic gradually faded away and we were ensconced in only the noises of the forest. It's always incredibly comforting to me to be walking in the woods -- as a child, I had many, many happy, contented hours playing by myself in our woods, surrounded only by birdsong and filtered half light. I miss that, and I never realized just how comforting it is to be in the woods for me.

I was glad that we could walk and talk and spend some time just reconnecting with each other in a calm, no pressure way. We walked for about an hour, and the further we went into the woods, the more relaxed and open i felt. I felt like we were able to talk about things so easily, with flow and give and take that we don't always have at home, or in the car, or on the phone, etc. It made me realize how open we both have become to having experiences together and actually being able to process them, and relate to each other through them. That's a huge realization for me, because I'm not the kind of person who is open about emotions and feelings and processing and all that other stuff that goes along with it. I don't do vulnerable well, but I feel like i've been able to make some changes in the fundamental way in which i relate, not just to Livvy, but to people in general, and that feels very freeing. And very very good.

On the way out of the woods, we stopped and turned down a path that was freshly cleared... On the ground was a wrinkled vulture feather, which i picked up, and lamented it's tattered state. Livvy looked down, pointed at my foot, and in a tangle of briars, next to my foot, sat a perfect pinion. Black, shiny, freshly molted. I couldn't help but smile -- vultures are one of my major totem animals, and a very very powerful symbol for me. I feel not only that they are protective and wise, but they have an intrinsic function to the world. They are perfectly evolved to do what they do, and they do it better than any other warm blooded thing. As we walked back along the main trail, three circled, two low, one quite high above us. Their silent watchfulness never ceases to amaze me -- even owls are louder than vultures, if you're listening....

Today Has Songs

I know, i know.. I always intend to post actual content, and I swear i will, sooner than later, but for now you loyal reader(s) will have to just bear with me and have some more song lyrics.

Sick Cycle Carousel

If shame had a face I think it would kinda look like mine
If it had a home would it be my eyes?
Would you believe me if I said I'm tired of this?
Well here we go now one more time

I tried to climb your steps
I tried to chase you down
I tried to see how low I could get down to the ground.
I tried to earn my way
I tried to change this mind
You better believe that I had tried to beat this

So where will this end
It goes on and on
Over and over and over again
Keep spinning around
I know that it won't stop
Til I step down from this for good

I never thought I'd end up here
Never thought I'd be standing where I am
I guess I kinda thought that it would be easier than this
I guess I was wrong now one more time

-- Lifehouse


Not Myself

Suppose I said
I am on my best behavior
And there are times
I lose my worried mind

Would you want me when I'm not myself?
Wait it out while I am someone else?

Suppose I said
Colors change for no good reason
And words will go
From poetry to prose

Would you want me when I'm not myself?
Wait it out while I am someone else?

And I, in time, will come around
I always do for you

Suppose I said
You're my saving grace?

-- John Mayer


It's Not Over

I was blown away what could I say
It all seemed to make sense
You’ve taken away everything
And I can’t do without
I try to see the good in life
But good things in life are hard to find

Blow it away, Blow it away
Can we make this something good
Well I'll try to do it right this time around
Let’s start over
I'll try to do it right this time around
It's not over
There’s a part of me that’s dead and in the ground
This love is killing me, but you’re the only one
It's not over

Taken all I could take and I cannot wait
We're wasting to much time
Being strong holding on
Can't let it bring us down
My life with you means everything
So I won’t give up that easily

Blow it Away, Blow it Away
Can we make this something good
Cause its all misunderstood
Well I'll try to do it right this time around
Let’s start over
I'll try to do it right this time around
It’s not over
Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground
This love is killing me
But you’re the only one
It’s not over

We can’t let this get away
Let it out, let it out
Don’t get caught up in yourself
Let it out

Let’s start over
I'll try to do it right this time around
It’s not over
Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground
This love is killing me
But you’re the only one
It’s not over
Let’s start over
Its not over, Oh yeah, yeah!

This love is killing me
But you’re the only one
It’s not over.....

-- Chris Daughtry

I have only one thing to say about this...

*SQUEEEEEEEE*

In the Darkening of the Year

So i'm sitting here in my living room, in front of the toasty woodstove, listening to a pair of owls call to each other outside my window. They're not far away, maybe 100 yards or so, but I can't see them because it's dark outside, and they are, after all, owls. I believe that these are a pair of Great Horned Owls (Bubo virginianus), but it's early in the year for them to be courting. Typical courtship behavior starts in January, and we haven't had much winter to speak of yet. Still, it's incredible to sit here in my living room and hear these owls as they go about their business. I've always had a deep connection with owls, so it makes me somehow content to hear them as they call to each other in the growing darkness.

I finished with my semester today. I'm glad of that. This semester was my hardest yet, and i got very discouraged... I desperately need the break.