Today Has Songs

This one's for the past... you know who you are, and you know what you did. It's your karma. You have to live with it. I am strong, stronger than you, and I will make it through this like I made it through everything else.

Because of You

I will not make
The same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break
The way you did, you fell so hard
I’ve learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don’t get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you I am afraid

I lose my way
And it’s not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that’s weakness in your eyes
I’m forced to fake
A smile, a laugh, every day of my life
My heart can’t possibly break
When it wasn’t even whole to start with

I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to depend on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
Because of you
Because of you I am afraid

Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don’t get hurt

Because of you I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don’t know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I’m ashamed of my life because it’s empty
Because of you I am afraid

Because of you

-- Kelly Clarkson

This is for the better times... the times we have today. I love you and I cherish you.

I Could Not Ask For More

Lying here with you
Listening to the rain
Smiling just to see
The smile upon your face

These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive
These are the moments I'll remember all my life
I found all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more

Looking in your eyes
Seeing all I need
Everything you are
Is everything to me

These are the moments
I know heaven must exist
These are the moments
I know all I need is this
I have all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more

I could not ask for more than this time together
I could not ask for more than this time with you
Every prayer has been answered
Every dream I have's come true
And right here in this moment is right where I'm meant to be
Here with you here with me

These are the moments
I thank God that I'm alive
These are the moments
I'll remember all my life
I've got all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more

I could not ask for more than this time together
I could not ask for more than this time with you
Every prayer has been answered
Every dream I have's come true
And right here in this moment is right where I'm meant to be
Here with you here with me

I could not ask for more than the love you give me
'Coz it's all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more
I could not ask for more

-- Edwin McCain

And this is for Right Now. This Minute. for Us.

Walk This World

I have slept beside the winter
And the green is growing slow
I have watched you find the places
Hidden by the snow
I have tripped into a valley
That is blue 'till you can see
I want you to come walk this world with me

With the light in our eyes its hard to see
Holding on and on to what we believe
I'm not touched but I'm aching to be
I want you to come walk this world with me.

And I'm sucked in by the wonder
And I'm fucked up by the lies
And I dig a hole to lie in
And I build some wings to fly
And I think that I could love you
Cause you know how to be free
I want you to come walk this world with me.

With the light in our eyes it's hard to see
Holding on and on 'till we believe
With the light in our eyes it's hard to see
I'm not touched but I'm aching to be
I want you to come, I want you to come
I want you to come walk this world with me.

And it's burning in our fingers
And it's burning on the road
And I like the way you're broken
And I'll like you when you're old
And I see you in the garden
And I feel you plant the seed
I want you to come walk this world with me.

With the light in our eyes it's hard to see
Holding on and on 'till we believe
With the light in our eyes it's hard to see
I'm not touched but I'm aching to be
I want you to come, I want you to come
I want you to come walk this world with me.

--Heather Nova

Today Has Songs!

Huzzah!

She Will Be Loved

Beauty queen of only eighteen She
had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her
She always belonged to someone else

I drove for miles and miles
And wound up at your door
I've had you so many times but somehow
I want more

I don't mind spending every day
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved

Tap on my window
Knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I know I tend to get so insecure
It doesn't matter anymore

Its not always rainbows and butterflies
Its compromise that moves us along
My heart is full and my door's always open
You can come anytime you want

I don't mind spending every day
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved

I know where you hide
Alone in your car
Know all of the things that make you who you are
I know that goodbye
Means nothing at all
Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls

--Maroon 5

Spoon

Spoon in spoon,
Stiring my coffee and
I think of you
And turn to the gate
But on my way
Came up with the answers
Scratched my head
And the answers were gone

From hand to hand
Wrists to the elbow red
Blood, sand
Could dad be god?
Crosses cross
Hung out like a wet rag
Forgive you why
You hung me out to dry

Maybe I'm a little crazy
But laughing out loud
Makes it all pass by
Maybe you're a little crazy
But laughing out loud
Makes it all subside

Holding, I'm holding
Falling, I'm still falling

Spoon in spoon
Stirring my coffee
I think of this
And turn to the gate
But on my way crack
Lightening and thunder
Hid my head
And the storm slipped away

Maybe I'm a little crazy
But laughing out loud
Makes it all pass by
Maybe you're a little crazy
But laughing out loud
Makes it all all right
Laughing out loud

(alanis)

From time to time
Minutes and hours
Some move ahead
While some lag behind
Like the balloon
that rise and then vanish
This drop of hope
That falls from his eye

(dave)

Spoon in spoon
Stirring my coffee
I think of this
And turn to go away
But as I walk
The voices behind me say
Sinners sin
Come now and play

Laughing out loud
Come now and play.
-- Dave Matthews Band

Breathe You In

The sound of beating hearts so anxious
A sacred rhythm pulsing with desire
The time we spend alone, it saves us
The things we learn in solitude inspire
Its good to love for love is hard to find
But to love is realized

I can breathe you in
I can taste every moment
And the world in your patient eyes
It will wait 'til we have arrived
I'm so alive
And I breathe you in

I'm breathing in your touch so reckless
I'm breathing in the words
that slip softly from your
fingertips
The one you've blessed is all but helpless
The largest lesson given will impower
Its good to love for love is hard to touch
If this life is large enough

I can breathe you in
I can taste every moment
And the world in your patient eyes
It will wait til we have arrived
I'm so alive
And I breathe you in

Your scent on my pillow
Is enough to get me through
But there's so much more to
learn apart from you
Our time in a bottle
Would be wasted if it were used
When there's so much left for love to prove

So I breathe you in
I can taste every moment
And the world in your patient eyes
It will wait til we have arrived
I'm so alive
And I breathe you in

-- David Mead

The Soundtrack of My Life

In no particular order, thanks to the shuffle function on iTunes, here are the 282 songs of my life:

1. Best I Ever Had (Grey Sky Morning) -- Vertical Horizon
2. Lonely No More -- Rob Thomas
3. Blame it On Me -- Barenaked Ladies
4. The Song that Jane Likes -- Dave Matthews Band
5. Hallelujah -- Jeff Buckley
6. Dreaming -- BT
7. Robert Bradley's Postcard -- David Mead
8. 3 x 5 -- John Mayer
9. Love Song for a Vampire -- Annie Lennox
10. Please Remember Me -- Tim McGraw
11. Love Soon -- John Mayer
12. Rain King -- Counting Crows
13. Something More -- Train
14. Lover Lay Down -- Dave Matthews Band
15. If You Could Only See -- Tonic
16. Snow on the Sahara -- Anggun
17. World on Fire -- Sarah McLachlan
18. Home Again -- Hootie & the Blowfish
19. Breathe You In -- David Mead
20. I Wanna Hold Your Hand -- T.V. Carpio (From Across the Universe)
21. Comfortable -- John Mayer
22. Ghost Story -- Sting
23. The One I Love -- David Gray
24. Babylon -- David Gray
25. Anyone Else but You -- The Moldy Peaches
26. We're Only Love -- Counting Crows
27. The Dance -- Garth Brooks
28. Wonderland -- Angie Aparo
29. Every Little Thing She Does is Magic -- The Police
30. Blind -- Train
31. Terra Firma (Lara's Mix) --Delirium
32. Family Portrait -- Pink
33. Damn, Sam (I Love a Woman that Rains) -- Ryan Adams
34. Etienne Trilogy -- Tori Amos (Y Kant Tori Read)
35. Morning After -- Howie Day
36. I Alone -- Live
37. Get This Party Started -- Pink
38. Rocketship -- Guster
39. Little Wonders -- Rob Thomas
40. Feelin' Way too Damn Good -- Nickelback
41. Just Like a Pill -- Pink
42. Cross My Heart -- George Strait
43. Building Steam with a Grain of Salt -- DJ Shadow
44. Forever -- Ben Harper
45. Angels Would Fall -- Melissa Etheridge
46. Truth and Bone -- Heather Nova
47. Angels of the Silences -- Counting Crows
48. Breakdown -- Melissa Etheridge
49. Mrs. Potter's Lullaby -- Counting Crows
50. Accidentally in Love -- Counting Crows
51. Ghost -- Indigo Girls
52. One Thing -- Finger Eleven
53. Warehouse -- Dave Matthews Band
54. Sorry I Am -- Ani DiFranco
55. Stronger than Me -- Melissa Etheridge
56. St. Robinson in His Cadillac Dreams -- Counting Crows
57. My Skin -- Natalie Merchant
58. Jealousy -- Natalie Merchant
59. Crawling in the Dark -- Hoobastank
60. Become You -- Indigo Girls
61. You're a God -- Vertical Horizon
62. Crush -- Dave Matthews Band
63. Crazy for this Girl -- Evan & Jarron
64. Just to See You Smile -- Tim McGraw
65. Einstein on the Beach -- Counting Crows
66. Parachute -- Guster
67. Freedom -- David Gray
68. Run Baby Run -- Sheryl Crow
69. Wait -- Sarah McLachlan
70. A Long December -- Counting Crows
71. Great Indoors -- John Mayer
72. Gravel -- Ani DiFranco
73. You Shouldn't Kiss Me Like This -- Toby Kieth
74. Tangerine -- Dave Matthews & Tim Reynolds
75. Finding Me -- Vertical Horizon
76. Rosalie Come and Go -- Ryan Adams
77. Unbroken -- Tim McGraw
78. Romeo & Juliet -- Indigo Girls
79. Turn My Head -- Live
80. Touch of Mascara -- David Mead
81. Anna Begins -- Counting Crows
82. Collide -- Howie Day
83. Dead Man's Hill -- Indigo Girls
84. What You Wish For -- Guster
85. I'll Back You Up -- Dave Matthews (solo)
86. Closer to Fine -- Indigo Girls
87. Answer -- Sarah McLachlan
88. Window -- Guster
89. Hero -- Chad Kroeger & Josey Scott
90. Almost Goodbye -- Mark Chestnutt
91. Shame -- BT
92. The Child is Gone -- Fiona Apple
93. Silent all These Years -- Tori Amos (Intro Leonard Cohen)
94. Wide Open Spaces -- Dixie Chicks
95. Come Away With Me -- Norah Jones
96. Goodnight Elizabeth -- Counting Crows
97. These are the Moments -- Edwin McCain
98. For the Longest Time -- Billy Joel
99. Leather -- Tori Amos
100. Hemorrhage in my Hands -- Fuel

101. ... On the Radio (Remember the Days) -- Nelly Furtado
102. My December -- Linkin Park
103. Typical Situation -- Dave Matthews Band
104. When the Stars Go Blue -- Ryan Adams
105. Drops of Jupiter -- Train
106. Please Forgive Me -- David Gray
107. Until I Fall Away -- Gin Blossoms
108. Mississippi -- Train
109. I'm Not Here for Your Entertainment -- Pink
110. Shadowboxer -- Fiona Apple
111. I Love You -- Sarah McLachlan
112. I Could Not Ask for More -- Edwin McCain
113. Let Go -- Frou Frou
114. Stigmatized -- The Calling
115. I Will Wait -- Hootie & the Blowfish
116. Home -- Cary Pierce
117. Daylight Fading -- Counting Crows
118. Devotion -- Indigo Girls
119. How to Save a Life -- The Fray
120. Shame -- Matchbox 20
121. Into the Night -- Carlos Santana with Chad Kroeger
122. Head Over Feet -- Alanis Morisette
123. Free in You -- Indigo Girls
124. Digging in the Dirt -- Peter Gabriel
125. Every Breath You Take -- The Police
126. Walk this World -- Heather Nova
127. Brick -- Ben Folds Five
128. China -- Tori Amos
129. If it isn't Her -- Ani DiFranco
130. Galileo -- Indigo Girls
131. #41 -- Dave Matthews Band
132. Selling the Drama -- Live
133. Your Body is a Wonderland -- John Mayer
134. Live Like You Were Dying -- Tim McGraw
135. Coming Up -- Ani DiFranco
136. She Will Be Loved -- Maroon 5
137. The Ballad of Hobby and the Piano -- Agents of Good Roots
138. Fields of Gold -- Sting
139. Send it Up -- Vertical Horizon
140. Anytime -- Brian McKnight
141. Virginia Woolf -- Indigo Girls
142. The Dreaming Tree -- Dave Matthews Band
143. All I Want is You -- Barry Lewis Polisar
144. Every Light in the House is On -- Trace Adkins
145. Shy -- Ani DiFranco
146. Slow Motion -- David Gray
147. Let Him Fly -- Dixie Chicks
148. The Other Side -- David Gray
149. Hallelujah -- Leonard Cohen
150. Heartbreak Town -- Dixie Chicks
151. Am I the Only One? -- Barenaked Ladies
152. Girl Like That -- Matchbox 20
153. Mona Lisa -- Guster
154. Cry Freedom -- Dave Matthews Band
155. Sullen Girl -- Fiona Apple
156. Another Horsedreamer's Blues -- Counting Crows
157. Had a Bad Day -- Fuel
158. Comfort -- David Mead
159. Medicine -- Guster
160. Bless the Broken Road -- Rascal Flatts
161. Witness -- Sarah McLachlan
162. Doubled Up -- Heather Nova
163. La Cieniga Just Smiled -- Ryan Adams
164. Broken -- Seether
165. If I Ever Lose My Faith in You -- Sting
166. Back to You -- John Mayer
167. Grin -- Guster
168. What's Going On Here -- Hootie & the Blowfish
169. Spoon -- Dave Matthews Band
170. Beautiful -- Angie Aparo
171. A Groovy Kind of Love -- Phil Collins
172. When We Dance -- Sting
173. Calling You -- Blue October
174. Bird on a Wire -- Leonard Cohen
175. New York, New York -- Ryan Adams
176. I Will Follow You Into the Dark -- Death Cab for Cutie
177. I Envy the Wind -- Lucinda Williams
178. Raven -- Dave Matthews Band
179. Satellite -- BT
180. Drift Off to Dream -- Travis Tritt
181. Alibi -- David Gray
182. If You Leave -- Train
183. Sweet the Sting -- Tori Amos
184. Could it be Any Harder? -- The Calling
185. Blackbird -- Evan Rachel Wood (Across the Universe)
186. Possession -- Sarah McLachlan
187. Foolish Games -- Jewel
188. While My Guitar Gently Weeps -- Martin Luther McCoy (Across the Universe)
189. Sail Away -- David Gray
190. Nightblindness -- David Gray
191. Flame Turns Blue -- David Gray
192. I'm Your Man -- Leonard Cohen
193. Demons -- Guster
194. Children in Bloom -- Counting Crows
195. Everything -- Lifehouse
196. These Apples -- Barenaked Ladies
197. Camera One -- Josh Joplin Group
198. Sullivan Street -- Counting Crows
199. In the Car -- Barenaked Ladies
200. The Stone -- Dave Matthews Band

201. A Clean Pair of Eyes -- David Gray
202. Darkmatter -- Andrew Bird
203. Rockstar -- Nickelback
204. If Your Love is Real -- David Gray
205. Girl all the Bad Guys Want -- Bowling for Soup
206. Free -- Train
207. Sick Cycle Carousel -- Lifehouse
208. Standing Here in Front of Me -- David Mead
209. Grey Street -- Dave Matthews Band
210. Hold On -- Sarah McLachlan
211. Call and Answer -- Barenaked Ladies
212. Mystery -- Indigo Girls
213. Say Hello, Wave Goodbye -- David Gray
214. Love Song for No One -- John Mayer
215. Time After Time -- Rob Thomas
216. She's My Kind of Rain -- Tim McGraw
217. Never is a Promise -- Fiona Apple
218. Wherever You Will Go -- The Calling
219. Falling is Like This -- Ani DiFranco
220. Solsbury Hill -- Peter Gabriel
221. Shame on You -- Indigo Girls
222. The First Taste -- Fiona Apple
223. Be Mine -- David Gray
224. Midnight in a Perfect World -- DJ Shadow
225. Only Lonely -- Hootie & the Blowfish
226. Dancing Nancies -- Dave Matthews Band
227. Mercury -- Counting Crows
228. Perfect Girl -- Sarah McLachlan
229. Never Gonna Come Back Down -- BT feat. Doughty
230. The Luckiest -- Ben Folds
231. Red Rain -- Peter Gabriel
232. Do What You Have to Do -- Sarah McLachlan
233. Spark -- Tori Amos
234. Say Goodbye -- Dave Matthews Band
235. December -- David Gray
236. Why Georgia -- John Mayer
237. Old Country -- Mark Chestnutt
238. Trouble -- Coldplay
239. Crucify -- Tori Amos
240. Cry Freedom -- Dave Matthews & Tim Reynolds
241. Anyday -- Ani DiFranco
242. Insensitive -- Jann Arden
243. Freakshow -- Ani DiFranco
244. Not Myself -- John Mayer
245. Crash into Me -- Dave Matthews & Tim Reynolds
246. Fear -- Sarah McLachlan
247. Eden -- Guster
248. Just For -- Nickelback
249. Kiss from a Rose -- Seal
250. Crawling -- Linkin Park
251. Grace is Gone -- Dave Matthews Band
252. I Love the Way You Love Me -- John Michael Montgomery
253. She Don't Know She's Beautiful -- Alan Jackson
254. I Grieve -- Peter Gabriel
255. Now and Always -- David Gray
256. Everything You Want -- Vertical Horizon
257. A Murder of One -- Counting Crows
258. I Believe -- Blessid Union of Souls
259. Two Step -- Dave Matthews Band
260. Four Days -- Counting Crows
261. You And Me -- Lifehouse
262. Unstoppable -- The Calling
263. Language or the Kiss -- Indigo Girls
264. Early Morning Phone Call -- Zac Maloy
265. Hands Clean -- Alanis Morisette
266. I'll Be -- Edwin McCain
267. Hopeless -- Train
268. Wake Up Call -- Maroon 5
269. As I'm Leaving -- David Gray
270. Downeaster "Alexa" -- Billy Joel
271. When You Say Nothing at All -- Martina McBride
272. Tangled Up in Blue -- Indigo Girls
273. So Unsexy -- Alanis Morisette
274. Here Without You -- 3 Doors Down
275. Hanging by a Moment -- Lifehouse
276. You Wanted More -- Tonic
277. Tear in Your Hand -- Tori Amos
278. Hey Jealousy -- Gin Blossoms
279. I Just Wanted You to Know -- Mark Chestnutt
280. Recovering the Satellites -- Counting Crows
281. Good Enough -- Sarah McLachlan
282. Follow You Down -- Gin Blossoms

*whew* so there you go. Do with it what you will =)

Today Has Songs

More song lyrics for those of you who follow my brain's weird connections...

Bird on a Wire

Like a bird on the wire,
Like a drunk in a midnight choir
I have tried in my way to be free.
Like a worm on a hook,
Like a knight from some old fashioned book
I have saved all my ribbons for thee.
If i, if I have been unkind,
I hope that you can just let it go by.
If i, if I have been untrue
I hope you know it was never to you.

Like a baby, stillborn,
Like a beast with his horn
I have torn everyone who reached out for me.
But I swear by this song
And by all that I have done wrong
I will make it all up to thee.
I saw a beggar leaning on his wooden crutch,
He said to me, you must not ask for so much.
And a pretty woman leaning in her darkened door,
She cried to me, hey, why not ask for more?

Oh like a bird on the wire,
Like a drunk in a midnight choir have tried in my way to be free.

--Leonard Cohen

Bless the Broken Road

I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you
Every long lost dream lead me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true

Every long lost dream lead me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

And now Im just rolling home
Into my lover's arms
This much I know is true,
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

--Rascal Flatts

Fear

Morning smiles
Like the face of a newborn child
Innocent unknowing
Winters end
Promises of a long lost friend
Speaks to me of comfort

But I fear
I have nothing to give
I have so much to lose
Here in this lonely place
Tangled up in our embrace
There's nothing I'd like
Better than to fall
But I fear I have nothing to give

Wind in time
Rapes the flower trembling on the vine
Nothing yields to shelter it
From above
They say temptation will destroy our love
The never ending hunger

But I fear
I have nothing to give
I have so much to lose
Here in this lonely place
Tangled up in our embrace
There's nothing I'd like
Better than to fall
But I fear
I have nothing to give
I have so much to lose
I have nothing to give
We have so much to lose...

--Sarah McLachlan

In other news, I spent several hours yesterday composing the mix that is the soundtrack of my life... It has 280 songs on it, so roughly 9.65 songs for every year that i've been alive, or probably something like 20 songs per year since i really became aware of the effect that music has had on my brain and emotions around the age of 14. =) I'll probably post the list later, but at the moment i SHOULD be doing homework.

Send "Bird on The Wire" Ringtone to Cell Phone

Today has Songs

because the last week has been less than stellar for all the people i love and for myself. Today has three songs.

Sail Away

Sail away with me honey
I put my heart in your hands
Sail away with me honey now, now, now
Sail away with me
What will be will be
I wanna hold you now

Crazy skies all wild above me now
Winter howling at my face
And everything I held so dear
Disappeared without a trace
Oh all the times I've tasted love
Never knew quite what I had
Little darling if you hear me now
Never needed you so bad
Spinning round inside my head

Sail away with me honey
I put my heart in your hands
Sail away with me honey now, now, now
Sail away with me
What will be will be
I wanna hold you now

I've been talking drunken gibberish
Falling in and out of bars
Trying to find some explanation here
For the way some people are
How did it ever come so far

Sail away with me honey
I put my heart in your hands
Sail away with me honey now, now, now
Sail away with me
What will be will be
I wanna hold you now
Sail away with me honey
I put my heart in your hands
Sail away with me honey now, now, now
Sail away with me
What will be will be
I wanna hold you now

-- David Gray

Four Days

All I want is something good
It gets harder every time
She is leaving here tonight
Take a breath
Take your time
Spread your wings and rise

Make a mark upon the wall
Paint your face and pass the time
Close your eyes and she ascends
Hold your breath
Ease your mind
Forty thousand times

Time fade into the night
They descend and then they climb
Feathers falling through the night
Have you seen ohio rise
It has been four days and nights

All I want is something fine
It gets harder every time
She is sleeping far away
Take a breath
Take your time
Spread your wings and rise

Rise through the black ohio sky
They descend and then they climb
Feathers falling through the night
Have you seen ohio rise
It has been four days and nights

-- Adam Duritz

As Is

You can't hide
Behind social graces
So don't try
To be all touchy feely
Cuz you lie
In my face of all places
But I got no
Problem with that really

What bugs me
Is that you believe what you're saying
What bothers me
Is that you don't know how you feel
What scares me
Is that while you're telling me stories
You actually
Believe that they are real

I get no illusions about you
Guess what
I never did
When I said
When I said I'll take it
I meant
I meant as is

Just give up
And admit you're as asshole
You would be
In some good company and I think you'd find
That your friends would forgive you
Or maybe i
Am just speaking for me

When I look around
I think this, this is good enough
And I try to laugh
At whatever life brings
Cuz when I look down
I just miss all the good stuff
And when I look up
I just trip over things

I've got no illusions about you
Guess what
I never did
When I say
When I say illl take it
I mean
I mean as is

-- Ani DiFranco